Resolutions 2018

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Resolutions are made to be broken so there is little point in making ones that are easy to keep. With that in mind, here are my ten commitments for the New Year.

  1. I will buy no books.

    Seriously, I absolutely gorged on books in 2017 and now they sit on shelves and bedside piles or wink at me from the screen of my e-reader. I bought enough books in the last month alone to last me until August – not counting the literally hundreds of books I’ve promised myself to read eventually. Eventually means now.

    Estimated date of breaking this resolution: April 27 or the first really crappy day in March.

  2. I will write twice as much as I did last year.

    I wrote nearly 140,000 words of new fiction and about 15000 words of blogging last year. So I’ll need to produce 310,000 words total in 2018. Well, that’s merely 6000 words a week, every week without fail. Ha ha ha… head slams on desk.

    Estimated date of failure: January 7

  3. I will lose 50 pounds or if you prefer 23 kilograms

    Easy peasy. I’ll simply do what I’ve been doing all year. Gain five pounds – lose them – gain them back – and so on and so on. Ten cycles and I’m done.

    Oh, you mean, my weight should be fifty pounds less one year from today. No problem, I’ll get right on that.

    Estimated date of failure: Tomorrow

  4. I will walk briskly for an hour a day on average.

    This one could be tricky. I only need to walk for 365 hours for the whole year – though I don’t think I can count walks to the fridge or to restaurants or the LCBO. Probably not brisk enough. Still, it might be feasible.

    Though, given the current weather in Ottawa, I’ll already by 11 hours behind by the time we fly to Mexico on the 12th. I’ll quickly make that up on the beach. Then there is March to contend with and next December…

    Estimated date of failure: December 10th

  5. I will drink less.

    No problem here. I could hardly drink more and it would take too much planning to drink the exact same amount. But I do worry about eggnog.

    Estimated date of failure: December 24

  6. I will be less facetious.

    Estimated date of failure: Sometime later today.

  7. I will keep all my promises.

    Well, I promised ten resolutions and there are only seven, so…

    Estimated date of failure: Already accomplished.

And that’s ten minutes.

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