I hate work. Really, if I ever won the lottery I would probably lie on the beach and imbibe fancy drinks all day long. I’d watch movies and read books and get other people to do my exercise for me. I’m bone lazy and I admit it.
Unfortunately I am unlikely to ever win a big prize – I mean does any one actually personally know someone who has? It may all be a trick, you know. In any case, I’m sure it would be bad for me and I’m equally sure I’d be constantly nagged to put the money to good purpose (quite apart from those who would simply want me to give them some of it). I’d be urged to start a theatre company and keep mounting plays until the cash was gone. Something like that, I’m sure.
We live in a society which values hard work and questions sloth. We tolerate it among the useless rich – making fun of them in tabloids perhaps for their various peccadillos but never actually doing anything about it. Because well, that would be too hard. Meanwhile, we are almost certain that people who are on welfare or who rely on generous sick leave plans are just plain lazy. Although, like lottery winners, they are awfully hard to find in real life. We all have heard of such a person but my cousin (sister, friend) isn’t one of them – she has real problems that aren’t her fault.
That’s not making excuses – it is facing reality, because we know that hard work is often not a way out of poverty and all the effort in the world will not make you well.
But enough about those people, I was talking about me. People are often surprised by my admission of laziness. But you get so much done, they say. Well, maybe.
You see, countering my sloth are a few other personality disorders. I hate to be embarrassed – so if I take on a task or have one imposed on me, I am always afraid that I might not do a good enough job. So I put my head down and focus on the work until it’s done. See, shame, unlike guilt, has a useful purpose. Not.
As well, I have always prided myself on being a person on my word. If I promise someone I will do something, I feel compelled to get it done. I don’t like letting myself down and I don’t like letting others down either.
And fortunately, some work is easier to do. I have managed to find those jobs that I personally find easy – like writing or problem solving – and even somewhat fulfilling while avoiding things that I find onerous, like home repairs or digging ditches. I’m sure there are those who would hate my work life and love the alternative. But like lottery winners and welfare bums, I’ve never actually encountered them.
Maybe it’s because I’m too lazy to go looking for them. And the moral: Find your bliss – but don’t ask me to do it for you.
And that’s ten minutes.